Deborah Tannen s But What Do You Mean - 864 Words

In her essay, But What Do You Mean? Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women s conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the conversation rituals among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the conversation rituals among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood. Tannen explains when talking about apologies, when women apologize to much they make it look like they are at fault even though they may not be (328). This reminds me of my mother. Last week we went out to eat and she ordered some soup. When s he took her first bite she noticed it wasn t even hot. She called the waiter back to the table, apologized for bothering her, then politely ask her if she could bring her another bowl of soup because hers was cold. The waiter said she was sorry and that she would bring another bowl out right away. When the waiter returned with another bowl, my mom apologizes once again for any inconvenience she may have caused. I think my mom was just trying to be polite. Her apology as TannenShow MoreRelatedDeborah Tannen s Article, But What Do You Mean?955 Words   |  4 PagesWhat I Meant was†¦ In Deborah Tannen’s article, â€Å"But What Do You Mean?† she enumerates seven different ways that women and men tend to have a kind of struggle. Tannen discusses how the men and women have different ways of speaking. The seven main differences are classified and divided into: apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. First, men don’t correctly interpret apologies; they often implicate blame with apology, synonymous with putting oneself down. On theRead MoreCommunication Gap Between Men And Women1386 Words   |  6 Pagesin the way that we communicate. What we say, how we say it, and how the opposite sex interprets what we are saying are all affected by gender. With so much focus on building a more compassionate and understanding world, how do we make that step that will bring us closer to closing the communication gap? We learn at a young age starting out that communication between girls and boys is completely different. Girls say boys are mean, and boys don’t know what girls mean, these different attitudes comeRead MoreGender Inequality1640 Words   |  7 Pages Misogyny and gender constructs, such as the ideal of beauty, hold women back in various aspects of their lives as discussed in the articles â€Å"Marked Women† by Deborah Tannen and â€Å"A Woman’s Beauty: Put Down or Power Source† by Susan Sontag. Men are viewed as the dominant sex and in our patriarchal society, they have all the rights women do not get to enjoy. This gender gap leads to less discussion and knowledge about the grievances that men face. The issues of misandry are discussed in â€Å"Man Bashing:Read MoreYou Just DonY Understand1838 Words   |  8 PagesYou Just Don t Understand by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D. William Morrow and Company, 1990 Reviewed by Laura Morrison That men and women are on different wavelengths when it comes to communicating is probably not news to you. However, Can We Talk? the cover story of the December issue of New Age Journal, provides some excellent new perspectives on this age-old problem. The author, Peggy Taylor, interviewed sociolinguist Deborah Tannen, who has written a book called You Just Don t Understand: WomenRead MoreThe Inequality Of People Based Off Of Race1369 Words   |  6 PagesIn the world we live in today, when you look around there are so many different types of people. Differences such as races, backgrounds, and also different people with different stories to tell. We live in a world of a diverse group of people, so different that we found it hard to make everyone equal. Some would think living in such a diverse world we would form a common ground and maybe unite together to be equal but that is far from true. No I m not talking about the inequality of people basedRead MoreSex, Lies, And Conversation Deborah Tannen848 Words   |  4 Pages In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the oppositeRead MoreWhy Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together?962 Words   |  4 PagesHave you ever walked into a school that was rich and had students that were low income there or vice versa? You just have to stop and think about education and how your status of income, your race/ethnicity, and the gender you are will have an impact in how you learn and move on into understanding the ways of other ideas not just education. Now that s what professional authors state as a fact. For example, yo u have Jonathan Kozol in â€Å"Still Separate, Still Unequal† state the differences between theRead MoreNeil Postman And You Just DonT Understand1868 Words   |  8 PagesBetween the books, You Just Don t Understand by Deborah Tannen, and the book Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman I prefer the book You Just Don t Understand. I prefer Deborah Tannen s book because her claims about the hierarchy in men’s conversation versus the need for inclusivity in women’s conversation are interesting, as I had not acknowledged this significance in communication between the two genders before. Overall, I like Tannen’s book because it highlights stark contrast in communicationRead MoreDifferences Between Men And Women1746 Words   |  7 Pages Gender Differences in Communication Have you ever thought someone wasn’t listening to you? Or that your request is being ignored because the response wasn’t framed in a way it should have been? Maybe it’s because you were speaking to a person who was of a different gender. Men use short direct speech, while women use indirect dialogue. Therefore, when genders meet up there’s a gap in communication. Men and women unconsciously communicate differently in numerous ways, so by understanding each other’sRead MoreHow Do Men And Women s Need For Intimacy?967 Words   |  4 Pages How do men s and women s different conversational styles reflect men s need for independence and women s need for intimacy? There are two articles that explains the different between men and women. According to author Deborah Tannen, article, Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other? He explains, how do they use the body language of communication. They have different socialization; for instance, girls use talk for intimacy, but boys use talk to